Ben's Chronicle: September 2009

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Neo-Futurist: 1957 Soviets launch Dog in Space

The NY Neo-Futurist are going back in time to help explain the Soviets first dog lauched into space.

Laika Dog in Space
Start Time:
Thursday, October 1, 2009 at 8:00pm
End Time:
Saturday, October 17, 2009 at 11:00pm
Location:
Ontological Theater at St. Mark’s Church
Street:
131 E 10th Street

More on the USSAR and Лайка(Laika: better known as Barker.)

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A Glorious Dawn-Stephen Hawkings Carl Sagan (Cosmos Remix)

I love physics. It would be my calling if I wasn't completely enamored with TV, junk food, and this new thing called the Internet.

"A still more glorious dawn mornings awaits...with 400 billion suns..."

(Super thanks to RogueKitten for breaking this on the facebook)

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Positive Message for All: Yours Truly

Lady and Gentlemen have a "little faith...the future will always will be bright, even though today it is (maybe) blurred."

Bill Grady
Yours Truly
http://www.myspace.com/billgrady

Mr. Grady captures the positive nature of humanity with this piece.

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Tuesday, September 29, 2009

MacBook Touch

The rumors are at full steam now. Something is said to be coming this winter that will change the way we use computers.
Here is a taste.

We have the technology...we can build an unimaginable world. One where paper would become obsolete and looks like also PCs.
Thank you aliens for giving Apple this new technology. You can have all the cows you want.

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Senate Asshole Committee: Killing the Public option

The Senate Finance Committee killed the option for the American public to have public healthcare. Please keep in mind that the Senate Finance Committee all get to keep their healthcare fore which the public already pays. This is done so they can live forever and screw us forever. WTF!

Here is a list of people you should write angry letters to:

(I did not indicated information on how people voted because when the public looses it's everyones fault.)
MAX BAUCUS, MT
JOHN D. ROCKEFELLER IV, WV
KENT CONRAD, ND
JEFF BINGAMAN, NM
JOHN F. KERRY, MA
BLANCHE L. LINCOLN, AR
RON WYDEN, OR
CHARLES E. SCHUMER, NY
DEBBIE STABENOW, MI
MARIA CANTWELL, WA
BILL NELSON, FL
ROBERT MENENDEZ, NJ
THOMAS CARPER, DE
CHUCK GRASSLEY, IA
ORRIN G. HATCH, UT
OLYMPIA J. SNOWE, ME
JON KYL, AZ
JIM BUNNING, KY
MIKE CRAPO, ID
PAT ROBERTS, KS
JOHN ENSIGN, NV
MIKE ENZI, WY
JOHN CORNYN, TX

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"Your Mom Needed Maternity Care"

Senate Minority Whip Jon Kyl (R-Ariz.) doesn't want materinity care to be in the healthcare bill cause he doesn't need it. Sen. Debbie Stabenow (D-Mich.) retorts that maybe someone in his family might have.

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Animate your Paint Off

This actually kinda freaks me out. Gives me that Sesame Street on Crack feeling. All it needs is the letter of the day and it would totally fit. This is called COMBO from Blu Ellis and David Ellis. (Double time lapse)

Today's letters are W.T.F.

Graffiti

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Monday, September 28, 2009

A Pitch of Justice

Justice Sotomayor Throws Out First Pitch at a Yankees game.

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Glen Beck Answer for White Culture

Let me break this down.
1) If your referencing anything to do with George Bush verbiage as something that people never talk about...might I suggested watching another channel besides Fox. I can find a thousand people that would like to question the statement made by GW that you just brought up.
2) you are not the only person who makes retarded statements and gets asked what they mean. I ask Bill O' Reilly questions all the time.
3) How many times has Katie been asked "Katie, what's the white culture?"
Answer: Pretty sure never cause she didn't say the phrase, "white culture".
4) I agree with you that Americans should turn over all the rocks and look under them. I also think you should crawl back under the rock you came from and we'll hope no one turns that particular rock over ever again.

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Stay a Fat Ass Forever with...

Ever thought that getting up from your chair was a pain in the ass (excluding thanksgiving). Why be bothered to stand up and walk to grab that beer, get that phone, or go to work? Ever felt like evolutions should make so you never had to move around on your own again? Well Honda has something for you.
This is the Honda U3 X or better know as the Fat Peoples Seat.

Question: Does this woman look super uncomfortable to anyone else? Especially the office shot?
Last Question: Why would you film on a solid white background when showing motion? Come on Honda I think you used to make cars give me some perspective!

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Sunday, September 27, 2009

All is not well for Pittsburgh College students

Some students were protesting, while others were actually not apart or even aware of the demonstration. Police entered the area and forcefully removed students from their own camps. Many similar videos on youtube.com have been removed or been flagged.

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They Might be Giants: The Elements

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Saturday, September 26, 2009

Underwater Meadow

I had a dream one time where I floated over green grass
Somewhere where time stopped and all was calm
There I swam through the sky and past fishes that fly,
Next to flowers that bubbled and leaves that glistened
I was in a glorious meadow that could only be in my imagination
Until now...

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Pomplamoose Music: Single Ladies Cover

I hate this song, but somehow this group makes me love it. Damn them to hell for making me sing "All the single ladies, All the...

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Stand up for Healthcare Executives

Will Ferrell stands up for the real health care victims - watch more funny videos

Celebrities come together to try and save the pour executives that run the healthcare industry.

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Friday, September 25, 2009

TITANIC on Ice

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Good Morning Michael

Some guy named Michael Moore explains to some dude on Good Morning America about Capitalism: A Love Story.

I need to see his flick.

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Thursday, September 24, 2009

Crash into me: Insurance Institute For Highway Safety

2009 Chev. Malibu vs. 1959 Chevrolet Bel Air

Fight!

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

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To Arthur: Guinness 250 Years

Today,
Guinness Celebrates 250 years of... well being Guinness. 250 years ago a guy named Arthur signed a 9,000 year lease for £45 (like $74 bucks) a year for St. James's Gate Brewery located in Dublin, Ireland. Arthur then made some Guinness and it gave him strength. So much strength that it change the fate of his entire country forever. "My Goodness, my Guinness."
So today go out with the rest of the world and have a pint or two of this infamous brew.

(All is actually not well in the world of Guinness. It is rumored that the company Diego, the current owners of the Guinness Empire, are planning on moving the Guinness factory outside of Dublin. So this Guinness celebration of the signing of it's lease may be the last of it's kind. Seems the land Guinness sits on is worth more to sell to realtor's than to keep. What is very obvious is that that Diego doesn't plan on keeping Guinness for another 250 years otherwise why would you give up the best deal in history. $74 buck...come on!)

Here are the spots running.

And just for fun the most brilliant ads from Guinness past...

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Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Evolution the Movie, not in my country

Man what a beautiful looking movie. I will total pay the ridiculous price of 10 bucks to see this flick.
Oh wait I can't...
because it's not going to be shown here.
That's right kids it's 1950 again and movie distributors are to scared to show a movie about this new fangled thing called evolution. Are we really that foolish? It seems we are. Distributors in the US have not picked up this film because it deals to much with theory. Theory...you mean science right? Shouldn't be surprsing considering Texas is still fighting over actual science in its textbooks. WTF (shakes fist)!

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Cop and his "magic brownies"

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Tuesday, September 22, 2009

New York Magazine Cover

New York Magazine cover embodies the name calling that Obama faces on a second by second basis.
Check it out.

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360 Cam

These cameras do not need to be used to show people's dresses at the Emmys.

Use this technology for good, damn it!

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A Republican pickle

(Some great political comics come out of the kids over at caglecartoons.com and of course AdamZyglis.com)

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Obama on Letterman

Case you missed it. Here's a little bit...

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Monday, September 21, 2009

Giants in the Subway

Has anyone else noticed that the warning signs on the subway show giants holding the doors to the trains?

WTF!

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Cowboys Stadium

While the rest of us watched Doogie Howser/Barney(Neil Patrick Harris) on the Emmys, a little teamed called the Cowboys faced off the Giants in the new Cowboy's stadium. Why should anyone who doesn't watch football care about a new super expensive stadium in the middle of not Dallas, Houston, or Austin? Well, this stadiums got something that others places on earth simply don't, the worlds largest HD television. When I say worlds largest, I mean "worlds largest". This screen is 160' x 72' tall. That's bigger than NASA space shuttle, almost longer than two statue of liberties on top of each other, and the width of the field it hangs over. It's freaking huge.
But here's whats a little messed up about the screen. If your standing on the field you can easily see the screens showing the live field play. This is very bad for playing any game where deception can help a team to win. Let's say your on the defense (that's the team that doesn't have the ball, for you none sports people) and you simply look up to see the offense (the people with the ball) fake a hand off. Now since you know someone has faked, it's easier to go after the right guy. To put simply, it's a live playbook. So devious it should be illegal. Luckily no one thought of this when making hanging the screen in plan sight of players and no players have been caught looking at his own ass on the screen. What fools! I am positive that none of the Cowboy's players have looked up during the game, because the Cowboys keep loosing games in their own stadium.

A better usage for the screen then watching the game your at...
Xbox 360!

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Panama Monster

Something strange was found by teenagers in Panama.

The teens in Panama are freaking bad ass, cause they easily beat the crap out of ETs and the Lockness monsters baby without batting an eye. This could be something fishy, but if its not, zoologist will finally have something to do besides saying they discovered another giant rat.

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Sunday, September 20, 2009

MTA Speaking My Language

It is a rarity that I will ever say anything positive about the MTA. I mostly only give props to the Transit workers not the higher ups.

Seems someone in upper management noticed this city has a large population of other culture and has started posting signs in other languages outside of English and Spanish.

This ones in Russian which is great cause it describes service changes heading towards Coney Island.

So thank you MTA for finally taking steps to make communications better. Now if you can just fix the million other issue including your unbelievable debt.

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Nuttin But Strings

Been meaning to post this guys for a while after I saw them on NY1.
Long intro and some weird costume, but when these guys break it down with the violins..freaking awesome!

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The More you know

Is knowledge power...

Did you know

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Friday, September 18, 2009

Talk Like a Pirate Day

Have you ever wanted to talk like a pirate or find a way to communicate with the seaward folk. Well, now you can. With the English to Pirate Translator.
Simply type in the words and "shiver me timbers", your speakin pirate.

Steal me' page!

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