Ben's Chronicle: March 2009

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Random Sightings: Clown Military

I took this photo at 34th st Harold Square Station. I know it's not the best shot, but something was extra weird about this person. It's not the military uniform or the clown face it's way he was holding the rubber chicken. If you look closely it looks like her is holding a real weapon inside the rubber chicken. Could be anything, but this was a little to odd to be just something simple. "Said Something".

Continue Transmission

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Volume IIIV: Texas Finally Gets Evolved!

On Friday March 27th, the Texas State Board of Education decided it's "okay" to teach evolution in schools (sort of).
-No I am not making this up and this is not the 1950s
The Texas Board of Education allowed the usage of specific language that will entices students to question "all sides" of scientific theories. So finally science text books in Texas will be more than a one page document saying "God did it!" The board allowed the use of a few words to tip the scales away from God. God could not be reached for a response. But I can imagine that he'd say what he usually does when I ask a question: "did you take more than one of the blue pill, man your going be so f*cked up."
This is not a triumph for the Texas State Board, this is a logical step away from stupidity. Members who voted against the language with evolution in it and those who didn't allow more specific scientific language should head down to NASA and talk to some of our brightest scientific minds. These scientist might be able to finally end the Texas debate on whether or not the word is flat.
God Speed!

And now a Cowboy Monkey

Continue Transmission

Friday, March 20, 2009

Volume XI: OBAMA ON LENO

continue transmission

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Random: Open Letter to What's That Bug?

Dear What's That Bug?
I wanted to ask you for a detailed analysis of my new archenemies; the most invasive evil of known urban dwelling insects, the Bed Bug. It's blood thirsting nation has invaded my sleeping zone and has attacked without provocation me while I lay sleeping.

Now my mom always said don't let the bedbugs bite; little did know that the soft hearted statement was a valid order.
I awoke a few days ago to have what only could be described as cleated fairy tracks on my arm & shoulder. It left me scratching my skin all the way through breakfast.
Now I've been stung & bitten by all sorts of bugs. usual because I inadvertent caused them injury or distress. And although these tiny living creatures did not understand my words I still professed apologies. For the bedbug there demise deserves no apologies. They are vile terrorist that spread like a virus. Outside of misquotes I have never wanted an entire species eradicated from this earth, but the vampiric nature of these tiny

beast has left me crying out for their destruction. What horrible little bastards to be able to move, reproduce, and bite as they do. My pour mattress now burns in effigy for the demise of said bedbugs. As the battle breaths its final breath is there any guidance you could give on "dealing" with bedbugs? I know wtb does not condone the killing or harming of bug species, but could you advise your human readers what to do if they find said species. Maybe just an identifier for the actual bed bug since there are other species that look the same. Although I have spent days hunting down this known evil, I would hate to harm an Innocent bug in my quest for blood.
Could you provide a photo of other similar species & advice readers on what to do about the dreaded bedbug?