Volume X: Master Debated

Hey my grandpa talked on TV last night and so did the next President of the United States.

Like a normal beginning of an argument for taking ones pills, the debate unfolded. (Why should you take your meds? well if you don't you go crazy or you die. So here's something to swallow.)
Obama started with the "thank yous" to this that and the other, and then went right into; "we have heard about wall street, but those of you on main street have been struggling for a long time." He continued talking about our current crisis in the financial sector, pushing that he would help the common man.
John on the other hand started with his "thank yous" and said "a sad note, Senator Kennedy is in the hospital...". Huh? (Now it is very troubling that Kennedy was sent to the hospital, although reports up until and even after the debate said "not that serious", (Fox News),) One main problem with this John, you have to have not been one of Kennedy's mortal enemies. By bringing it up, it just look like you are beggin' for votes and trying to distract from the fact that your not a very good person.

The whole night John just kept muttling through what must of been some prepared notes. I wanted to do a back and forth with commentary between Obama and John, but John was so hard to follow. At one point towards the end I found myself having bobble head when he began to talk. I just couldn't keep my eyes open.
Now don't be mislead by what the reports and what other politicians said about this debate. Don't even believe Giuliani: (McCain) "Taught Obama about foreign policy". Taught him, really? cause John was acting crazy towards Obama on this issue of wanting to meet with the Iranian President without preconditions. Preconditions being the past 8 years of "with us or against us"(King George), mentality. I believe wanted to work with someone to avoid WW3 or another attack on us is worth changing this foreign policy. This situation would be about trust not about being proud. As for preperations I am sure the great speaking Obama can find away to prepare for something. John, you, on the other hand didn't look prepared for this long debate.

John, you said, in regards to the financial agreement, that you would impliment, once president, a "spending freeze" except for our military. Obama wants to keep at least some programs that are important such as "education...". If we stop services such as education we will become a dictatorship. To learn more about what a dictatorship, John, see North Korea. I thought you new of them.
Continuing under the same discussion Obama said we need to cut private insurance, undo the 10 billion dollars we keep spending on the Irag War, and take the money away from the rich few and give it to the people. -Thank you Robin Hood. John you said: we should add "49 Nuclear Plants" which will create 700, 000 jobs. (700,000, mmh I know that number is that the number we are giving to rich people for screwing our economy.) If we create 49 nuclear plants than we won't have to worry about 700,000 people cause the chances of something bad are pretty high. Also, it is now know that even medical physilities are having trouble disposing of nuclear waist, leaving enough uranium for a giant bomb sitting in a broom closet. -And you want to create more Nuclear Waste. That kinda stuff does not win over the middle; Nuclear meltdown is still bad. Might I suggest some reading or watching on Chernobyl.

On the discussion on the "lesson's learned from Irag", Obama clarified his position on the military: "never hesitate
use the military... use it wisely." And John, you went off about troop surge and Obama doesn't support the use of military.
-I have no idea, that old man is crazy. Truly I couldn't keep note of what John was saying. He reminds me of what happens when your friend drinks to much. Your friend still talks, but yet you have no idea what he is saying.


Now it is true that it wasn't a knock out punch for Obama, but that was because you aren't suppose to hit an old man. With Old people you have to hold there hand and be respectful, which I think was shown by Obama. But the world wants the left to take a final swing at the right and take back humanity for the "people and by the people."

Dear Senator Obama,
we, the just., herby authorize the use of force. You have permission to out talk, over talk, and show an old man that the young are now in charge again. Please for the people who have lost it all from the war and from the private companies that are still chewing on us, go out and win!

End Transmission.

Oh the huvanity -Maxim gives it to Palin

Maxim Magazine rates Palin 2nd on their top 10 World's Hottest Politicians list.

I know, I just throw up in my mouth too. Like 5 times for so many reason why this is wrong.

For one thing the list highlights how sexist we truly are. Constant obsession with physical attributes, especially with woman, has kept us from evolving into something better. Being a politician should not be a beauty pageant (I am talking to you Arnold). Politicians should be made fun of (thanks Tina) and not objectified like a celebrity such as Paris or Britney (talking to you MacCain). I don't give a care what someone looks like for getting a job done. When will our culture stop focusing on things like this? Are we truly that lost?

So how do we solve.
This is a form of cultural vanity and is very hard to beat. Anyone can fall victim to these types of things.
If we try and make someones' actions sexy than we might have a chance. Such as, idolizing our Nobel Prize winners for their intellectual abilities, being excited for our athletes because they have tuned their bodies to perfections (not because they look so darn good), and generally worry about real issues, not what's in the trash mags. That's the short solve. It will take alot more to move a society away from the trivial and into the sublime.

End of Transmission
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Constant Sorry of a tumbling stock

"I am a man of constant sorry", after last week we have seen trouble and pain.
How did we get to this? Well "we" all know; its a never ending war, it's the greed of human kind, and the stupidity in our nature. People have been lossing big for 7 years now. Some have lost their homes and some have lost their lives; some from nature and some from men. The nobles have again lead us away from the path of righteuousness. They have used their tricks of god & country to take from us until there is nothing left to take. I say that our recent rebellion has cause these currencies to fail. "Why feed the machine" some kept saying; "why support that which is wrong".
So how can we solve. Well I think that most of us have already done so. We are taking from the rich, now we just need to give to the pour. The fat cats got a little taste of what's it's like to be middle class everyday and unfortunately the middle class had another bad day. But in these dark hours of a growing black monday let us not fear.I don't need to give into the system to live or even have nice things.I am above the system. Imagine this, if we just started trading between ourselves and creating a new form of trade. One not yet correpted by the best advertisement. Let's us form an economey that is "for the people and by the people" so that we can truely have control (at least for a little while).

End transmission.

Guides to Club Night

It has come to my attention that I might not be young anymore. Its seems that after a recent night club outing that I may not be fit for such endeavors. Here is my advise if you choose to go on this type of outing
Research:
1)Know what sort of club it is & what you should wear. Note death metal night is not a good time to wear a polo
1.2) If the theme or name of club has any of the following words in the title consider your involvement a "Maybe": hardcore, deathly, gangster, huppy, softcore, dirty, hammer, dolly, purple, fish, super danger fire.
Fashion:
2) Try your outfit on the day before you go out; don't wait till an hour before. One reason is that those leather pants you wore for Halloween 4 years ago may not fit. (Also leather pants don't have front pockets & leave no room for your keys, wallet, phone, and your unmentionables.) With this in mind having muffin top cover your studded belt in no way will pass as sexy.
2.5) make sure you are comfortable in your outfit; it should not be the kind of outfit that will get your beat up on your own stoop. If you do not take this to heart at least try and wear things without hooks or rings. Hooks & rings can be use to turn you into a human pinata.
2.7) sub fashion: don't wear netted shirts. It was good for the cutie next door, but when your the only one in it on goth night, your lame.
Timing:
3) clubs open late. I mean late late; Like past when your going to stay up watchin TV while your girlfriend falls asleep. The Colbert Report is not one late!
3.2) Again, clubs open late. So when you arrive at 9pm (doors at 10 or 11p) and are standing outside alone, your lame and exposed. The people at the Chinese restaurant next door will let you know this. (Note Chinese food makes black look bad and is hard to whip out; please smelling like Chinese food sucks.)
Dancing
4) for god sakes no one knows how to Madison. And that swing you think you know, doesn't fly as club dancing. Also, nsync moves are not cool, nor are Justin timperlakes unless your Justin timperlake. Leave choreography to professionals. Do not attempt anything you saw from the Fly Girls on In Living Color. They had J-Lo. No Cabbage patch!
4.2) If you can't dance be in charge of drinks. Get people so liquored up they won't know you can't dance.
4.4) stepping side to side like a junior high slow dance is also not dancing
4.5) Refrain from saying: "I'm gonna get my grove on", "Rockin", "it's hammer time", "work it", and "I'm a disco machine"
Singing:
5. Singing non theme nights is unacceptable outside of "decade nights". Example; you can sing "you spin me like a record baby" only on 80's or modern night. You cannot sing this song on hip hop night. It does not make sense. Plus people shouldn't sing. You're there to dance. Few places in NYC have a dance license, you can go to karaoke next week.
Ordering
6) don't be an ass. If it's not a beer place don't freak out cause they don't have Six Point. Your life of drinking alone at your local pub does not validate all bars having your beverage.
6.1) Ask what are in the nights specials. If the cocktail does not say what's in it, your to grown up to drink it. This includes anything with lots of sugar.
6.3) No shots. If you are not use to dancing & drinking all the time you'd be advised to not take the shot. This, as well as the sugar drinks is a lesson best not learned.
Communications:
7) you have not gotten smoother as you've gotten old. Best to stay near your friends, cause those pretty/handsome people don't need you, an "irregular", using your best pickup line. (Note even though most of these people are young, old 80's movie pickup lines are definitely a no no. Molly Ringwald does not go to clubs, and besides you only had a chance in a dream with her type of girl. Also see anthony micheal hall)
7.1) If you want to get the 411 on your friend might I suggest a coffee shop. You already say "whhat" a lot outside the club, you need not say it 4 times for one sentence.
7.3) Just nod and ask people if they want a drink<-this is your best asset
7.3) Don't ask other people to dance. Cause it can be assumed, you can't dance. I mean it. You can't dance.
7.5) Never reference Hanson or Parent trap. Either version.
Wall Hanging
8) This is a good spot for you cause you look like you might have been dancing, have a chance to sip your drink, and are just out of the way like you belong.(best to stay near the wall cause your tallest friend convinced you to break the drinking rule)
8.1) This is not a strip club and since it is not please put your eyes back in your head. Sure these people apart of the theme night clockwork orange seem like they would be ok with you staring at their whitey tighties, but no. Know that the younger looking people have bigger & stronger "friends" that will make sure your viewing white eyes become black.
8.5) Don't pick a wall near a speaker or a bathroom. Both have dire repercussions on your senses.
8.7) sitting in the same place all night is creepy. Remember to move around and get your friends drinks
8.8) when against a wall hands partially in the pockets is okay. Putting your hands deep in your pockets because your sweating so much will only make your hands sweat more and will make you a perve.
8.9) don't talk to the wall. No matter how much "Mad Mango Martini" you've had
Navigations:
9) don't go to the back room. You were to young and now your to old
9.1) Pick a floor with a lot of people on it, but don't loose your friends.
9.3) know how to get around the really big people and maintain distance from them, they could be a "normal" like you
Exit
10 ) now that you have spent a night embarrising yourself its time to go. Please exit through the way you came in and don't trip over the stanchines (dumbass). If you do, do not declare it has attacked you and ripped your leather pants. The fact that the people waiting to get in know your crazy and see you went commando. Try not to cry and know that assless chaps would have been great on anyone else but you.
10.3) ask for your money & ID from your friends bra. You will need cash to get home
10.5) make sure you have not gotten a date or given out your number. Have your friend write down the answer to these questions. This will help you the next morning.
10.51) also your in trouble with your girlfriend, your friend screwed you
The Next Day
11) Try and take a shower
11.2) Your meeting started 2 hours ago
11.4) say you your sick and lie lie lie. "You watched the daily show last night, John Stewart is sure funny"
11.6) When you raise up from your desk with the split spiderwebbing to your desk, know that your boss, even while yelling is trying to read the backward stamp on your face that orginally came from your hand.
11.9) Heed my words. Never write this in your blog!

Today

Things I don't care about today: a "pig" comment, Democrats & republicans, commercials, fashion, anything to do with fashion, other superficial things like fashion, celebrities, shoes to wear, shaving, mustard, who who's bff, Paris’s blog, my bosses desire for me to do personal things for him, work in general, dancing, hotdogs, car commercials, Disney on Broadway, how to use an espresso machine, mud flaps, star bucks new logo, witty t-shirts, publications with pretty people on it, burger king, crop tops, toilets in Australia, spelling, laundry, graffiti, mispronunciations of the word ask, my old ipod, foam on your latte, menus, food in my teeth, bathroom humor, jogging, subway glares, miss understands of my hair, finding someone an iPod, melted crayons, the rings on my desk from my coffee cup, did I mention a nanny for my bosses kid, & the general lazy people on the planet.

Things I care about today: Fixing that which is broken

Freakin VH1

So those of you that still pay mild attention to the music channel this one's for you.

Even worse than people given a standing Oh to Britney, worse than Pinks stupid rain coat fashion jacket, & worse that the degradation of a innovative music institute is VH1. "Vh1" you say; "don't we oldies like that channel, it's got nostalgia as its platform, and McGiver, & the buggles are the best." Yes vh1. What a bastard network! They placed a never ending channel overtaking pop ad of the mtv awards on their station for the duration of the award show on mtv. The ad said "why aren't you watching the...awards? Luv, VH1." (Something to that effect). And you know what vh1, I wasn't watchin MTV cause I want to watch a network that might discuss things my age. Which is fuckin old compared to those teenies on mtv. Screw you carson daily! -what Carson daily Is no longer on trl. Damn it! Even my references are to old.
I digress. Overously mtv bought vh1 and controlled them just like they do the tweenes. And you know what its just sick, even though it did make me switch over to confirm that the awards were on the whole time that ad was. We cannot allow network such as mtv & vh1 to share a promoting relationship when they have so much influence over our youth. -Even if they are owned by the same person, which is a whole other issue. Damn it. When did I get old?

The less you know

Well, tomorrow is primary day for Brooklyn. What's that you say? You didn't know there was a primary? Yeah, neither did I. Nor anyone other than a few who ran into one of the candidates promoting themselves. We looked high and low at resources on the Internet. Even our beloved NY1 hasn't said anything in there morning news show. We just want a list of who the hell these people are. I think there should be a page on the net that shows you how these people have voted in the past or maybe a list of change. The only resources that can be found are articles endorsing one candidate or another. There is no middle ground showing each person's view. Bastards!

RNC

Something fishy is going on here. I think I made it to China without leaving my home. This past week our "fare" government has made it clear that if you are not republican you will be targeted. In St. Paul people were dragged from homes and arrest for "probable cause of conspiracy to commit a riot", so says Gina Berglund the protesters attorney. Early in the week I saw on CNN.com a video of a cop with no provication stepping forward and spraying a biker in the face with mace.I them saw a clip of police throwing things at a guy being pushed in a wheel chair. (I can't seem to find these videos anymore on cnn.com.) Something is happening here. The fight is in full swing and it is clear even the media can't keep it out. Protesters interrupted MacCain as he spoke, finishing the week with much needed media coverage. I think it was interesting that the republicans would chant "USA, USA" over the protesters like this was validation for their evil empire.

Many people are still indifferent to this fight. I was asked by one of these individuals, "why would they do that, why would they interrupt?". I explained to them that protest were going on all week and it final made its way into the republican castle. This individuals had never really heard about the protesters outside the RNC. This is just insane that people aren't hearing about this. The government really is trying to silence this uprising. Try going to www.protestrnc2008.org and you will get:

"Bandwidth Limit Exceeded
The server is temporarily unable to service your request due to the site owner reaching his/her bandwidth limit. Please try again later.
Apache/2.2.9 (Unix) mod_ssl/2.2.9 OpenSSL/0.9.7a mod_auth_passthrough/2.1 mod_bwlimited/1.4 FrontPage/5.0.2.2635 Server at www.protestrnc2008.org Port 80"

Well thank goodness for youtube and even myspace. There are voices screaming out from these sites showing the horrors of the treatment for those who have a right to protest. See the insanity on youtube by typing in RNC protest. Some of the footage is very shaky and hard to few, but it's because they are being fire upon.